|Posted on June 1, 2017 at 11:40 PM|
It seems so simple to ask for something directly yet we don't always ask even when it is detrimental to our health. When we are taking action steps to raise or keep our seizure threshold high we sometimes have to ask for what we need. Nobody is a mind reader so we must ask directly.
For example, have you ever been in someone else’s home and something there is beginning to get to you but you didn’t say anything. Maybe it was a flickering light, an aroma or maybe they are offering up some food that you know aggravates your seizures.
The reality is we are in someone’s else’s home and they may have no idea that these things are seizure triggers for us. It is time to ask directly for what we need. It may feel uncomfortable and the person may not understand. Or they may be glad to adjust now that they know. In general, people are happy to make a change if they are made aware.
Others cannot read our minds so it is up to us to speak up. If someone knows that we live with seizures than asking may seem easier than if they don’t know. One way to deal with this situation is to be honest about what change you are asking for and why. Say it with confidence and with ease. The more comfortable we are with the situation the more comfortable they will be with it. We can be the leader by setting the example in how to react to the situation.
There is a significant difference between “I would be so appreciative if we could turn the fan off since it creates a flickering and that is a seizure aggravator for me. Thank you so much.” Very direct, right? Now continue the visit as usual and don’t make a big deal about it. The bigger deal we make of it the bigger deal others will make of it. Now read this version. “Do you mind if we turn the fan off every time I am around flickering lights I have a seizure. It is just horrible and I don’t want you to have to take care of me or call 911. Last time I bit my lips and was bleeding and I broke my hand” WOW! This isn’t direct or simply to the point. It is a story that maybe our host doesn’t need to hear just yet and now they are living in fear. A fear that we put on their minds.
Asking directly is a self-care tool that we should use and use often without apology. I personally have asked people to make an adjustment. I simply ask for the change, quickly say why and go back to what we are talking about or what we are doing. I know from personal experience that if I don’t say anything that it creates great anxiety about the what ifs. I also find people to be accommodating and some will ask questions to learn more.
Next time you need something for your self-care. Ask directly.
Here is to a seizure free day!
Empowerment Coach & Practitioner
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